Last exit
by Lucillja
Summary: Inspired by a post from Tumblr. Cas can't bear the fact of living without Dean and sells his human soul to be with him in hell. Short Drabble, Destiel


Inspired by a post from Tumblr, you can find it post/87349415722/id-rather-spend-an-eternity-in-hell-with-you-than

Cas can't bear the fact of living without Dean and sells his human soul to be with him in hell. Short Drabble, Destiel

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it, enjoy!

**last exit**

It was getting dark outside. The upcoming night only left one thought for Castiel, he had survived another day. His head felt dizzy, his limbs felt weak and with the last bit of his grace burning away his human needs became more permanent than he remembered it. But even though he felt the heaviness of sleep creeping over him, he feared the darkness of his mind. He feared it more than he ever knew he could fear something.

Like a dark veil, that made everything appear black. Black, like his eyes. No matter how often he tried to shake it, the image of his destroyed soul always kept coming back into his mind. His soul, once so radiant, that drew him like a moth to the flame, made him disobey, made him leave everything and everyone behind, gone, replaced with darkness. He closed the door to his tiny apartment, not even bothering to lock the door. The rusty lock wouldn't be able to keep anybody out so why bother. He couldn't say that he hadn't tried. Living a normal life, a human life. Work, talk, sleep, fuck. But what's a life worth living, if you have given up a long time ago? He picked up an old bottle of beer from his small living room table and took a sip. So he had spend his time waiting, waiting for his grace to slowly burn out.

Here and there he had helped a little by healing occasional. Trying to clean up the mess the new knight of hell had left behind, but he had soon realized, that what ever he did, was useless. He was useless. He who had done everything for everyone but him he had failed. Still holding the bottle between his fingers his other hand reached out for the gun that was lying right beside the other empty beer cans._ His gun._ His fingers trailed along the barrel and the fine carvings on it. So often he had thought about it. To just pull the trigger, end it probably, if he was human enough already. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. If heaven was the place he would go what would he find there? Just a bunch of made up memories in which he could drown for all eternity. Alone. That was nothing worth dying for.

No, he has made another decision a long time ago. All he had to do was waiting for the time to come. As he swallowed the last drop of old beer he felt that the last bit of grace had left him for good. For a short instant, he thought about Sam. After they found out that there was no cure for Dean Sam had tried to sell his soul but apparently no demon on this earth had wanted it. They liked the new Dean Winchester a lot more. And if that was not enough, Sam had bargained with every living supernatural being he could find but nobody had a solution. So he locked himself in the bunker and combed through every book, box and movie recording he could find. With every passing day that Sam realized how hopeless it was, he became more obsessed. First, Cas joined him. He shared his obsession but Sam became furious, even manic.

They both knew that what held them together was the thought of saving Dean but when Cas realized that there was no cure for Dean, he knew he couldn't stay with Sam because he knew he would never give up, even if it killed him. He hadn't heard from him since then, he was probably dead already. Cas went over to the little roundtable beside the small window of his one room flat and opened the first drawer. There it was, the little box he had neatly arranged the day he made his decision. With the gun in his jeans he left his human life for good, clinching to the little box in his hands as if it was the most precious thing he possessed. As he laid it into the small hole he dug into the ground he realized that it wouldn't take long now. Not long until he would see him again. A wave of joy rushed over him. It was the first glimmer of happiness for a long time, but he held onto it.

"Look what we have here, what can I do for you, Castiel?"

The dress of the small redhaired woman didn't leave much left for imagination and as she blinked with her long fake lashes Castiel realized, that he hadn't waited too long. All he could see was the human shell of this demon, nothing black inside of her twirling right under the surface. Just an empty face with too much make-up on it.

"If you know me, then you don't have to ask questions I assume."

His shoulders where tense, but his breathing was calm. She threw her hair back in an attempt to look seductive and took a few steps towards him.

"Well well, looks like you are not in the mood for my little foreplay, what a pity. Straight down to business then I guess. You know that it won't work, you can't save your precious little pet. He's deep deep down under and you know what, he likes it."

A bright smile was placed on her pink lips while she was speaking, it made Cas want to puke.

"I know that, but that's not what I want."

"So what then? Money, youth, a Dean-shaped cookie? What do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you, I'm willing to give you my soul. And you take it to hell, for all eternity."

The smile on her face was now replaced by a stunned look.

"And I expect you want me to believe you?"

"I do."

The grin on her face was back and with two further steps she had reached his personal space area and laid her hand on his chest.

"I know you don't have a very high opinion about us crossroads demons but even you have to know I'm not _that_ stupid. So stop joking around and spill the beans, what is it you want from me, hm?"

"I'm not joking, I want you to take my soul to hell, right now, thats it."

Cas laid as much sincere as he could in these words cause he knew either she would believe him or he would never get his soul into hell.

"Right now? Well, aren't we a little eager?"

"Right now and right to Dean Winchester. These are my therms."

"Oh, so now we are closing in on the real deal. You miss your baby boy. That's just too cute, you know? Well, he misses you too. He's always blabbing about his angel. Or not. Are you really sure you want to find out?"

"I wouldn't be here if I don't, or would I? So do we have a deal?"

Cas looked her dead serious in the eye, hoping that he had her convinced.

"We do."

And with that she pulled him close for a kiss. As they broke it, Cas pulled the gun out of his belt and unlocked the safety bar.

"Do I have the honor, or do you want to be a man and do it yourself?"

Her perfectly manicured nails laid on the gun already but Cas took a few steps back so it was out of her reach.

"No, I'll do it."

His heart was racing, his whole body was shaking with excitement, and fear. He just didn't knew which emotion was prevailing. He thought about it so often, where to put it, how it would feel if he pulled the trigger but right now, his mind was blank. No thoughts, no more fear, just clarity. So he pulled the trigger and fell into the dark abyss.

All he could see was chaos, a mess of flesh and screams. It was a place, where no light could ever come through and all hope had long been gone. It was cold and empty, the only thing that filled it where distant screams from lost souls. Hell was nothing like he remembered it from back then, when he was still an angel. Hell for humans was different, like a bad horror movie with guts lying around and rusty stake knifes carving into rotten flesh. He found himself chained on an musty, wet cell wall, surrounded by coldness.

"You know, you are the last person I expected to see in hell."

His voice was echoing from the walls of the tiny cell, almost no light in it. It made Castiel shiver, so many memories came crashing down on him. Dean took a few steps forward so Cas could see him more clearly. His black eyes staring at him, a big smile on his face.

"You know, not that I'm not pleased to see you, I was getting pretty boring down here. But I'm curious, what did you do to deserve an eternity in hell? Weren't you always the good little angel on my shoulder?"

"I couldn't do it Dean. I couldn't save you. I'm sorry."

He tilted his head to the side and a nasty grin appeared on is lips.

"Oh, I see, you think this is your fault, how cute. You see Cas, I don't see this as a burden, not at all. I'm more powerful than I ever was, and more important, I'm free. But if you want to suffer because of it, be my guest. It's a start. Why are you here?"

"I sold my soul, I wanted to be with you, you once told me, you'd rather have me, cursed or not, remember? I remembered it."

"Oh thats just too cute, you are in love. Did you get me flowers? Come on, don't tell me you didn't even bother to bring me chocolate. You know, now I'm disappointed."

He pulled an angel blade from his jacket and started to pop open the buttons of Cas's shirt.

Slowly, Dean started to pierce Cas's skin with the sharp metal, the first chrism red streams of his blood begin to soak his white shirt. Cas new that this was only the beginning of all the pain he would feel for the next eternity, but being reunited with Dean pushed the pain aside. Even with him standing there, with his black eyes and the fiendish look on his face, Cas felt a wave of joy rush over him with every word Dean spoke. Maybe it was sick and wrong, but Cas had reached a point where it didn't matter anymore. He was with Dean again, and he would stay with him, for all eternity.

"So, all this time I was your little human pet. It's nice to have the situation reversed, don't you think? How exiting it is, to finally be the strong one, everything what happens to you lies now in my hands. Thrilling, oh you and I are going to have so much fun."

Dean accompanied his words with a further deeper slice of the blade and Cas couldn't suppress a whimper of pain.

"Already enough pet? Have you expected I'd be gentle with you, because I love you? Demons don't love."

Under stagnant breath, Cas managed to say:

"Neither do angels, but still, I fell for you."

For a second he could swear, he had seen a spark of green in the black of Deans eyes, but it was gone before he could cling onto the last shimmer of hope. He was in hell but he was with Dean.

With a contemptuous laughter Dean kept piercing Cas's skin, slowly keeping a steady pattern of healing him and then slicing him up again. Their talks where always the same, Dean kept mocking him, telling him how preposterous he was but for Cas it didn't matter. For anybody else it would have taken longer to be broken, but Cas didn't fight. He had accepted his fate a long time ago. Dean would be king and wherever he went, Cas would follow. Although with every day, month, hour or decade his soul was burning away, his desire for Dean never did and the day Cas's eyes turned black, he would have sworn to see a proud look on the demons face. At last, they where united again. A king and his knight.


End file.
